That's Life

Most people try to live their lives living the best they can. In fact, according to the Humanistic Theory (psychology) developed by Abraham Maslow and later expanded on by Carl Rodgers, once our needs on one level of our development are met we then try for the next level. These levels are from bottom to top:

1. Basic Psychological needs - nourishment, shelter, and sex.
2. Safety needs - security, defensibility
3. Affiliation needs - love, belonging, friendship
4. Esteem needs - achievement, importance
5. Self Actualization

Now, when we reach self actualization we are supposed to feel the overwhelming need to give back. On top of that, throughout this whole process we are supposed to want to be the best people we can be as long as these needs are met. Now, I know that most people try to be good. Even those people that do tell little white lies and steal a candy bar every now and then. Where do you draw the line though? See, I was thinking to myself today about the people I know and the people I consider to be in my "inner circle" and the saddest thing came to me...I don't trust most of them. Actually, I don't trust 99% of them. My reasons for this vary and I feel that they are legitimate reasons. Most I don't trust because they are self-absorbed. Some I don't trust because they have loose lips, and we all know what they do. Others I don't trust because they have given me an abundance of reasons to not trust them by doing a cornucopia of evil things to me. This doesn't mean I don't like them though. Sometimes I absolutely need them around, but most of the time I'm fine with them doing their thing and me doing mine. The craziest thing is that there are people that are outside of my "inner circle" that I would probably be way more willing to trust than people I have known for ten years. Its wierd. I don't get it. Anyways, since I learned this theory, I have been thinking about the way I interact with my friends or people that one would consider a mere acquaintance. I must appear to people to be the one of the wierdest dudes on the planet. Yeah, I think so. I don't try to be. In fact, I try my best to be warm and understanding to everyone equally. I think I treat my friends with a certain respect that I rarely ever get in return...Before you think I am crying about it, hold on...(bite of an apple)....I truly don't expect anything in return for the things I do for people....From the offers to help them move to the offers to fly where they are when they find out their kid is dying, I do this out of love. I do this because I care. So, if you refer back to the info. I provided for you about the humanistic theory you'll see that love, belonging, and friendship are critical to our growth. So, if one feels that they aren't getting that can they still get to the next level if they keep giving? I don't know. That's part of the whole thing that I don't understand. I feel pretty comfortable with who I am at 28, but I don't know that I am completely comfortable with the company I keep. They are, deep....deeeeeep down good people, but I think it says something that people that have come into my life in the past year are much more fun to be around and I look forward to seeing them more than the people I have know for 5 to 10 years. Now, in case any of them stumble upon this (doubt that) they need to know that there are a few I couldn't live without. One, the little sister I never had another the older brother I never had...Actually there are three of those, but the rest are just filler. There are other people, though. The ones that have kinda been coming around like Halley's Comet for the past year. People that just moved here that I really like and think are really cool. Hopefully they will become people I know for many years to come. I guess, in the end, I am still trying to figure out who I am and what I want. It just sucks that every time I feel I have reached a point where I completely know me and all that stuff, I lose it...That makes me stress about shit like I just wrote about. Maybe Frankie did say it best in the song That's Life:

That's life, that's what all the people say.

You're riding high in April,

Shot down in May

But I know I'm gonna change that tune,

When I'm back on top, back on top in June.

I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem

Some people get their kicks,Stompin' on a dream

But I don't let it, let it get me down,

'Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king.

I've been up and down and over and out

And I know one thing:Each time I find myself, flat on my face,

I pick myself up and get back in the race.

That's life I tell ya, I can't deny it,

I thought of quitting baby, But my heart just ain't gonna buy it.

And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,

I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king.

I've been up and down and over and out

And I know one thing:Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,

I just pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life and I can't deny it

Many times I thought of cutting out But my heart won't buy it

But if there's nothing shakin' come this here July

I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die

My, My

no freaking kidding Frank. Man, just listening to that makes me feel better. Done*